Birdie
God fucking damn it. I love you. It’s to my shame that in the desire to not let go, I have kept you here well past your time. I’m grateful for the extra time with you, and I’m terrified that my selfishness will prolong your suffering. I don’t think I can let go—so when the time comes, you have to go. You have to be the one to let go. I’ll figure it out after. I love you pup.
Lessons
Somewhere out there in neverwhere, there’s a version of me who was far less arrogant. He decided to stay and cultivate an empire. He’s basking in the sun of the Laguna Hills. He’s taking long drives up and down the coastline. Somewhere out there in neverwhere, there’s a younger less arrogant version of me who was happy with what he had.
It is Compelling
The most compelling evidence for reincarnation is the fact that every child is born screaming.
Three Blind Mice
I wish I knew. It is nothing more than a push and pull of the ether. Whispering walk this way, go this direction, stay away from that. Never offering an explanation, and demanding obedience. A push here, a pull there. Steadily, forcefully, guiding me into the abyss that is fate.
Little Dude
It was obvious that she was flirting, so much that my brother pointed it out. I knew she was, I was just trying to ignore it.
“Dude,” he says. “You should get her number.”
“I don’t ask for numbers anymore little dude.”
“That’s depressing,” he says.
“Yeah, well—I’ve learned my lesson.”
Rebellion
True rebellion begins at any age with the disregard of the patriarchal and matriarchal expectations. It is commandeering the helm of your own ship and setting a course that will bring your life satisfaction and fulfillment. It is not inherently bad, and often means stepping outside of the crowd and turning your gaze inwards—upon yourself and society—as a critical observer. When performed correctly, the end result is often one of inner peace and ultimately the acceptance of your familial ties. Rebellion is a long, solitary, road which requires a clear vision and an enormous amount of patience and faith. It is an art form to be perfected over the coarse of many years—but it begins by deciding exactly what it is you truly want from life.
The Unexpected
When I laid my guns down I was certain that the path of peace was a noble, and worthwhile, pursuit. I had no concept of the war that was about to begin.
Fingertips
Hours. I would lay for hours with you. Your fingers running underneath my hair and across my skin. There’s a piece of me that still lives there in that moment.
APEX
There’s something special about ripping flesh from a bone with your teeth and bare hands. The way your eyes pinch shut to prevent splash back. When you do it long enough, your ears begin to hum with the slightest ringing noise. The gasp. The way the tongue traces the teeth for traces. It’s waking up something ancient. A familiar memory that, as a species, we climbed the food chain high enough to exit stage left.
Goodbyes Denied
We walked the strip for hours that night,
Walking past one another,
Lost in the crowds,
Never quite finding the goodbye.
Express Yourself
Expression is the most potent form of
magic that exists.
It triumphs the earth, the sacrificial, and
even the sexual.
It transcends time,
lives in eternity.
So release it, and watch the world remold
itself around you.
Walk Naked
Give your entire flawed self to the world.
If they want to kill you for it,
then smile,
and let them.